My Current View on Life

Honestly, life is an unwavering force that moves in all directions. It's honestly nerve-racking, careless, and unforgiving. We are all brought into this world without our consent for reasons we have no control and with a VERY limited amount of control over our upbringing. We are not all on even terms or even from the same perspective.

Despite that, there are things that connect each and every one of us. For some people they view that as faith. For others they view it spiritually. For me, I think it's just a single truth that somehow binds us all together. It's a fact that we are here living our lives on borrowed time. I don't know what comes after this, but there realistically isn't any reason to dwell on it.

There's all the reason to reflect upon it and make it expressive in what we do.

The concept of Life and Death is something that comes to us because those are just facts. Now, they are abstract concepts that can be played around with as much as we want. We are sentient beings that can take any concept and make it as principled or as abstract as we want it to be. That's the degree of freedom we have when we are not bound by the other factors of life.

Everyone is bound by at least one factor of life as no one is truly "freed" from the prison that is this existence. Living is a combination of all the emotions that one can feel and how we can perceive things through the way that our mind, body, and potential spirit can perceive it.

For around 30 years of my life I wandered about life without any understanding of what "purpose" or "meaning" truly were which is a terrifying proposal. Thirty of my years have come and gone without any idea of how to even move "forward" and what "forward progress" even looks like. Or if even that's something I "want".

I could speak to the emotions I have felt and my own personal experiences. I can also speak to the experiences of others in ways that it has resonated with my own experiences, but I cannot speak for those people. No on can truly speak for another. Or at least that's what I feel at this current time.

Life is a combination of elements. Some of which we do have control. Some of which we do not. In many ways, we have more control over our lives than we can comprehend because there are options we cannot perceive. Someone living on the street might not understand their how they can find a purpose worth fulfilling to another to make a living to lift them up from that.

We all find ways to not have to deal with life since it's something that is so out of control. Sexual desires, mind-altering substances and experiences, and so many other ways to distract ourselves are ways that we deal with or negotiate with life. Life itself doesn't care because life itself doesn't determine anything. It's all of the elements swaying back and forth that realistically determine anything.

I can do my best to learn as much as I can, but no one can learn it for me. I can try my best to teach other people, but I cannot learn it for them. That's a concept that is parallel to almost anything in life. I can reach out to someone, but if they don't want to be reached out to, they can ignore me. In some ways, someone can make themselves be felt which is truly a scary thing because this can happen in many ways.

Life can be jarring and relentless in those ways. We are all bound by the laws of where we are born and reside otherwise we suffer the strictness of the punishments set up by those establishments. Those establishments often don't play by their own rules and the values that they push out to everyone else aren't necessarily the values they hold themselves. People can be so afraid of making mistakes in this world that they are willing to blindly follow something else even if they are unaware of it.

Some people are born with less capacity or capability than others. We are not equal coming into this world and we are not equal leaving this world. The only thing that is equal is that there is some concept of life and death, and possible equal in the outside of that. Our existence cannot fathom or comprehend that, but it apparently doesn't need to. We just go on existing.

There are very few absolutes in this world, and even the absolutes we have thought we always known can be distorted or broken in ways we couldn't imagine through discovery and viewing things through a different lens. What is true in one way can be false in another. Everything is based on how it is perceived and value is driven based on perception and perspective.

In writing this, this language has been built over the entirety of humanity's time on this planet. Regardless of what one believes, we exist at this point in time and it's clear there are beings that existed before us and there are beings that will exist after us. Unless somehow everything comes to an end. We probably wouldn't even know what that would happen.

In many ways there is no point in life. One must make their own goals to achieve and decide how they wish to achieve them with the tools they have available. I am the firm believer that the only wrong way to live one's life is to prevent someone from being able to live the life they want to live. This is why the harshest punishments should be for those that make those mistakes that cannot be taken away when they are made in a way where they should've known better.

We need to build better guard rails in society that ensure that people don't fall to untreated mental illness, health-related problems, and other limitations without trivializing what people have had to endure to get here. One should have the ability to seek help if they need it, but it shouldn't be a requirement unless not getting that help would be an infraction on others. We owe that to ourselves and to those who came before us that tried their best to live their lives in a meaningful way.

What is meaning anyway? I feel meaning can be found however we can find it. It's why I love the realms of both fiction and non-fiction. Creative and technical.

I can be who I want to be to some extent. Since my brain is much different from anyone else I have ever meant, it means I am not bound by those same constraints. Or at least that's how I choose to perceive it.

One can choose to view something as deep or surface value if they want. I choose for myself whether something is "too deep" for myself or "too surface level" for myself. It's why some things interest me and others do not, even if it seems perfectly illogical otherwise. I am a chaotic mess in some ways, yet rigid in others. I just hope I can find people that can tolerate that because I can show undying loyalty to those that do.

If there is anything that I know that I want for humanity, it's this:

Less suffering and friction. More understanding and coexisting.

If there is something I want for myself, it's this:

The ability to connect with the people I care about and for that one person I believe in to believe that I can bring the best out of them. You know who you are.